Quick recap...10 pm Labor Day evening. Phone call. BirthParents. Right...okay.
So Tuesday morning was business as usual. Jason was prepping for a trip to Chicago, Jake was off to school, and I was running errands. Around 11ish, a text came through from our agency director, Tina. She was meeting with the BirthParents sooner than expected and would let me know how it goes.
Deep breaths. Lots of prayers, although I wasn't totally convinced He was even listening to me anymore.
About 15 minutes later, another text:
"If they want to meet you to know they are making the right decision, are you comfortable with that?"
I said yes, but wanted them to know it would just be me since Jason was headed to the airport. Apparently, that wasn't a problem...
"Would you be able to meet today?!"
"Yes ma'am...Will the baby be there, too? Or just the parents?"
"All three!"
Oh crap. Baby too??? But... But...
I had to have a little pep talk with myself on the drive over. All the heartache and tears over babies I hadn't even met, and I was about to come face to face with another one. I couldn't decide if I was being incredibly stupid or incredibly brave. Either way, I was sure I'd puke at least once before I got there. I texted Jason, and by God's grace he had not left yet. He promised to hustle over to our meeting spot on his way to the airport.
And hustle he did. He confessed a few days later to a speeding ticket he got on the way. Of course, he was immediately forgiven.
Meeting this couple was terrifying, and yet I immediately felt at ease in their company. Both young and clearly just as anxious, they shared their story with me and their reasons for contemplating adoption. We looked through the scrapbook I made and took turns asking and answering questions. Jason finally made it, and he charmed his way into their hearts like he always does.
I got to hold her. And feed her. And change her diaper. And snuggle... Ohhhh, the snuggles. My heart was melting quickly, and I had to pause and remind myself this was not a sure thing yet. All I knew is that I desperately needed it to be. I couldn't guard my heart from this precious girl for long. She was stealing little pieces with every sigh, every heartbeat, every smile.
After lots of talking, BirthMom said she had one last question for me before she made her decision.
No pressure...
"Would you like to be her Mommy?"
That's not what I was expecting at all. I burst into tears. "Are you proposing?!?" I asked in a fit of tears and giggles. And then I said yes.
We signed an agreement which simply indicated both parties were committed to moving forward and pursuing placement, then planned to meet up again the next two days to continue learning about each other and discussing the future.
And then I realized it was 2:50 and Jake was about to get out of school and I was a good 45 minutes away. Thank God for good neighbors who are also good friends. After scrambling for a solution, my sweet friend had everything under control. No need for an explanation - she knew that would come later - just took care of Jake and that was that. Thank you, Melissa!
I put this sweet baby girl back in her mother's arms, said "See you tomorrow," and cried all the way home. I worried about her. I worried about her parents. I worried about me. I called Jason and poured out my heart. We agreed not to tell Jacob to protect him in case this didn't work out. It was the hardest secret I've ever had to keep. For the next two days, all he knew is that Mom was running errands all day. What I was actually doing was planning for us to (hopefully) bring home his baby sister that Friday!
Thursday night, Jake had a baseball game. We decided to take him to dinner afterward and tell him the news. We kept it casual... "Tomorrow, you get to skip school and come with us to meet a couple who are thinking about placing their baby girl for adoption." He was so stinkin' excited, he could hardly eat. We answered his questions, prayed and took one last picture as a family of three before heading home. Tomorrow was a big day!
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