You Just Know

I'm not feeling eloquent tonight - just tired from a busy week and thinking about an even busier one next week! But I felt compelled to get this blog up and running and to explain how we got to the point of pursuing adoption. So here's the run down:
April 2010
positive pregnancy test
May 2010
miscarriage
June 2010-September 2011
tried to conceive w/ no success

September 2011
laser surgery for endometriosis (my 4th in 12 years)

October-December 2011
chronic pain and other horrendous "issues"

December 2011
diagnosed with endometriosis, fibroids, polycystic ovarian syndrome, ovarian cysts, suspected adenomyosis, & severely tilted uterus (is this fun or what?), doctor recommends hysterectomy

January 11, 2012 (next Wednesday)
scheduled total hysterectomy - WOOHOO!!!!!  :)

So why not try fertility treatments? IUI? IVF?

Well, IUI wouldn't work considering all of my "issues." The doc said my insides are like a chemical war zone, making it incredibly difficult for little soldiers to complete their mission. IVF was a viable option, but it came at much too high a cost - financially, emotionally, and physically. I didn't want to put my family through that, especially if it didn't work. And - to be honest & selfish - I simply wasn't up for the challenge. I'm tired. I've dealt with these issues since I was 12 years old, and - quite frankly - I'm DONE! I'm over it. It's time to move on.

We have talked this situation to death, prayed day and night, grieved the loss of having a second biological child, and ultimately accepted God's plan for us as a family. We've already begun researching adoption agencies and will begin paperwork in the next month or two.

Here's what we know so far:

1. We want an infant girl. Jake has been begging for a baby sister for months, and Jason and I both desperately want a little girl.
2. We're electing to go with a domestic adoption. If the Lord calls us to adopt internationally in the future, we are open to doing so. But for now, we feel domestic is the way to go.
3. Her first name will be Joy. Just like with Kate (our second pregnancy), Jacob helped us choose this name, albeit in a different way. With Kate, I asked for a name and that was the name he gave me. With Joy, it was much more subtle. He came home with handprint art from his CLC class at church that read "God gives joy." Moved to tears, I presented the idea to Jason. He loved it, and that's the end of that. 

Joy. We're in love and we haven't even met her yet!

By the way, did you know that the Bible mentions "joy" anywhere from 165 to 244 times (depending on which version you read)? Here are a few of my favorites:
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces enduran ce. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."   ~ James 1:2-4

"May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers."   ~ Psalm 20:5

"The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving."   ~ Psalm 28:7

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,..."    ~ Psalm 30:11

"He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."
~ Job 8:21

"But as for me, I will sing about your power. Each morning I will sing with joy about your unfailing love. For you have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress."    
~ Psalm 59:16

"God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy."
~ Psalm 68:6

I'd post more - much more - but I'm typing with my eyes closed & the main menu DVD theme music from Mr. Popper's Penguins is on its 53rd repeat. Time for bed! Laptop off. TV off. Goodnight.

And thank you for your support & prayers!  ☺  We look forward to sharing our journey with each of you!!!