In the Blink of an Eye...Part One

Things can change so quickly, can't they?!?

Before I dive into our adoption story and tell you how this all came to be, you have to know a little about our summer.

It was awful. That's the short version.

It started out okay. I was working more than I'd planned, but still managed to spend time with Jake. We went on dates, saw movies, played summer baseball with his All Star team. Went to the beach with friends. Enjoyed having Jason home. That was the good stuff!

There was also not-so-good stuff. We filled many days with intensive care for our precious Bruiser as he battled a pair of digestive diseases. Force feedings, scary nights, lots of tears and fears. We could feel him slowly slipping away from us, only to watch him rally and put up one more fight. Such a trooper!

One bright spot during that trying time was a last minute phone call early one morning from our agency. There was a BirthMom in Amarillo. In labor. With a baby girl.

After gathering quick details and passing the news on to Jason, we agreed to pursue the opportunity to meet our baby girl. I flew into a frenzy - packing for me, Jake and Baby Girl. Jason was neck deep in interviews for work, so we agreed Jake and I would jump in the car and start driving. Jason booked a flight. My amazing sister (bless her) also booked a flight. We picked up Jason at the Amarillo airport upon our arrival into town 6-ish hours later, booked it to the hospital and walked in to find out the whole thing was a bust.

The BirthMom had created a perfectly executed storm of lies that left destruction in her path. What should have been an unknown BirthFather situation quickly spiraled into what we could only describe as a soap opera or Lifetime Movie situation. Despite us sharing our hearts and desires to parent, we drove the 6 hours back home stunned and empty handed. While our hearts ached deeply, the ultimate loser in that situation was that sweet baby girl. I pray for her often, that God would keep His hand on her and guide her through a life of chaos and instability and into a world of perfect peace.

One week later, Bruiser died in my arms. He fought so hard, but the diseases were much too aggressive for his little body. Our already-broken hearts were now officially crushed into a million pieces. I felt like there was a target on my back. Like God had forsaken us. I quickly sank into depression and began to question my faith. Were we ever going to get a break?

School started. Sports started. Jason's travel picked back up. I quit my salon job to do some substitute teaching in an effort to have a schedule more aligned with Jake's. Renewed my teaching certificate. Filled out the application. Scheduled my orientation. The plan was to start after Labor Day.

10pm Labor Day evening. Jason was putting Jake to bed when our agency called. Our director was meeting with a couple the next day, and she wanted to show them our profile. I'll admit, there was a part of me that cringed and wanted to say no. I was just beginning to heal from our horrible July and couldn't bear the thought of being heartbroken a third time. After quite a bit of talking and serious discussion, Jason and I agreed we'd always regret if we walked away without trying. So we said yes. They planned to meet at noon. "I'll keep you posted," she said. Hmmm. Okay.

I went to bed that night as skeptical as ever, guarded and assuming this probably wouldn't amount to much. I had no idea what the next few days would hold...